Begin at the end

Picture your own funeral, three years from today.

Four people stand up to speak. Someone from your family. A friend. Someone from work. Someone from your church, your team, your street. What do you want each of them to say? Not what they would say now. What you want them to be able to say, truthfully, in three years.

That exercise comes from Stephen Covey, who had read two hundred years of American success writing and noticed it changed around 1920, from character to personality, from who you are to how you come across. In 1989 he wrote The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People to put character back, and he kept the habits in order on purpose: the first three are about you alone, and he would not let anyone skip them. The second one is this. "Begin with the end in mind."

I know it sounds morbid. It isn't. It is the most practical thing you will do this month. A eulogy you write while you are alive is a plan you can still change. Almost every hard decision gets easier once you know which of those four voices you are trying to earn.

Covey died at seventy-nine after a bicycle accident. His eulogies were already written. He had done the exercise, and the people who stood up to speak had the easiest job in the room.